I saw this the other day, and it spoke to me. :)
As you may know, I have had some ups and downs with my weight during my life. Unfortunately, most of the time, it's been ups rather than downs. I don't know why it's a struggle for me, but believe it or not, I'm actually kind of grateful.
Losing weight and becoming healthy is a process that changes you forever. It forces you to see yourself in a new light. It makes you braver and more willing to take risks. It is hard and heartbreaking and frustrating and confusing and awful. But with every victory, you build your confidence and your sense of self.
My goal this year has been to lose 50 pounds. I have more than that to lose, but that would put me pretty close to my ultimate goal. I've really struggled this year. I've been really good about tracking my calories and working out a lot and it just has been so slow for me. I talked to my doctor about it, and she prescribed Metformin for my PCOS. It won't in and of itself make me lose any weight, but it will hopefully balance out my hormones and make it easier.
I think the most frustrating part of this whole thing is not really seeing my progress. I can definitely feel the difference. I have WAY more energy, and can keep up with my Zumba class, even during the really difficult songs. I've toned up, and can see and feel big differences in my muscles. But when you see yourself every day and have had a negative self image in the past, it's hard to see that progress.
I think that even harder than trying to lose the weight is talking about it. It is such a taboo subject and frankly, embarrassing, although I don't know why it should be more embarrassing than talking about any other self improvement. Anyway, I'm kind of just babbling here, because it's out of my comfort zone.
Me in 2008? I was at my heaviest here. This was about 55 pounds ago.
March 2012, wearing a horrible outfit.
Despite the obvious need for better posture and a more pleasant neutral face, I can see a difference here. It's not where I want to be, but it's getting there, and I'm thankful. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one in the world who can see my recent changes, but that's enough. And it's motivating me to keep going!